Projects and Ambition

Kaisa re ambition? Kitta re ambition. Bas hute. It actually gets mad annoying, quite significantly annoying. All this talk of useless things, in the day where we should more than realize their uselessness. Tawakkaltu ala Allah, and let it all go. Ball out, surely do things that will help you out, but min-maxing in a time like this is crazy. Too many things going on always, its crazy almost. My goals are just so far different it doesn’t add up to everyone else. I can’t live like this, grinding on and on endlessly. I need to do what I want to do. I should do it, but these opportunities are also pretty crazy. Especially this one, being salary matched for chilling and working at home is WILD.

I would love to take it up, but what will my situation in life while doing it? Embarassing, a lot of people would say I think. It would definetly hinder my goals there, but also make me mad money possibly.

Insha Allah that is what will happen. Insha Allah this time next year will be better, not even related to this. Fuck this. It doesn’t even matter. Please make it better, mera rab. Please make it better, because this might have been one of the worst things by agency in terms of what I am talking about. Generally agency has not been horrible, but the forced feeling of vacationism, due to the stupid life choices I made is getting to me. But then again it was so difficult in office aswell. It did help with that, so who’s to blame? Can I be blamed for this? Probably, but all I really wish is that next year is better. So regretful about this whole time. What a joke. I very desperately need a change. I’m so tired of everywhere where I can’t tell people to fuck off. I hate this kindness we have to pretend to put up.